


Inevitability

by the_ol_razzle_dazazzle



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: F/F, Tumblr request, also i wanna make more 2hu content so feel free to ask for reqs, do you wanna cry??? read this, youkai!marisa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 21:38:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11837547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_ol_razzle_dazazzle/pseuds/the_ol_razzle_dazazzle
Summary: It was inevitable that humans must all die some day.It was inevitable that Marisa would lose her humanity.It was inevitable that between her and Reimu, one of them had to die- and by any other circumstance, it would've been her.





	Inevitability

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry

Years had turned. Of course it had. Honestly, after everything…Marisa couldn’t face Reimu.

Not for some bullshit guilt reason, in fact she enjoyed the times where she’d show Reimu a new spellcard, even if it would be beaten in the end. She enjoyed showing off her steals, she enjoyed Reimu’s angry but bubbling laughter as she used her gohei to pester her.

But she knows that what she did was something she couldn’t undo, and it would ruin her. She could never see Reimu again. If there was one thing that neither could joke about, whether being a youkai infested shrine or Reimu’s abrasiveness to those around her it was the greatest sin Marisa could make.

She became a youkai.

It wasn’t exactly an accident, and it wasn’t exactly on purpose. Deep down, she’s wanted to reach that point. The point where she could beat people, where she could grow stronger. Ever since she was a child it was all about how she was ordinary, that she had to put in so, much, damn effort to even reach the level she was at now.

But it would never be enough.

After leaving the human village, even if she beat up most of the people she talked to, she didn’t want to leave, she couldn’t handle being weak anymore. When each cherry blossom wilted and a caught cold in winter, she was reminded that she too, would die- like any other human. Like any other starry eyed kid who dresses like a witch.

This wouldn’t be a problem, right? She had nobody to care about in the village, certainly not any other ghosts or gardeners. She had nobody, except /her/. Except Reimu.

Reimu…was an exception. She knows that she could never get close to her, because of this, what she might do, what she already did.

For Gensokyou’s sake, why did she have to care about the one person that stopped her from all of this.

It was wrong. She knows it was wrong. Even in the cold winter nights spent underneath a kotatsu with her ‘best bud’, she’d wake up in a cold sweat, dreaming of a time where that stupid paper stick would ache and burn, and there would be more tears than blood. Where her skin felt like plastic, as if she would fade away into the stars.

She almost became a hermit upon it all. She hid away, only flitting here and there for ingredients…and certainly not during any daytime where /she’d/ be asleep. Despite thinking the opposite, even Patchouli and Alice didn’t talk to her often, if at all.

Years had passed, but youkai matured slowly. 

She used to look back on the newspapers, photos of the tow smiling together, and her magic would burn brighter and she felt more rampant.

Love coloured magic…god, she was doomed from the start.

The days passed by so quickly, she didn’t even notice.

It was another incident, one that took a while to solve. The newspapers showed Sanae instead, but no Reimu. Not /her/ shrine maiden.

Dammit, she’s not hers! It could never be, and it sure as Makai won’t now…

Marisa peered at the paper. Despite Sanae’s goddess status, she was starting to look a bit older. Her eyes scanned the date.

…How long had it been?

It’d been years, decades even.

And for the first time in at least 53 years, Marisa dashed outside. The youkai magic paid off, considering she was swifter than ever…that’s her reward for all this.

“Knock, knock.” Marisa called out, almost a force of habit, before shoving her way in. “Hello? Hakurei Shrine Maiden of Paradise?”

“…Marisa?” She imagined this so many times. Whether it was coming home, and receiving a kiss on the cheek- or slaughter. But not this.

Her voice was so feeble, it shook. Nothing like her normal confidence.

“Yeah it’s…me.” Marisa sat down, Reimu was bedridden, ancient lines on her skin like weathered parchment. “…Uh…how ya doing?”

“…Not too well, actually.” Reimu stifled, coughing. “…I haven’t seen you.”

Marisa gulped. “…You know why.”

Reimu’s expression falters, “Yeah. If I was young I swear I’d kick your ass right now.”

“Would you kill me?” The words blurted, and they both sigh.

“…I’m tired. I’m too tired to think about that right now.” Reimu murmured. 

“I-I’m stronger now, Reimu! I can do something! Anything to-”

“You don’t get it.” Reimu set a finger to her lips. “It…it needs to happen. I’m a human-”

“You’re not!” Marisa cried out, “You’re /Reimu/! You were always going to be there!”

Reimu looks up at her, even with her withered hair those eyes still shine bright. “I can’t. I have to keep going along and passing it on.” She sighs, “Besides, don’t you think I’d ask Yukari or Eirin?”

Marisa was shaking, “W-Well, that’s ol’ Reimu! Too prideful to ask, right?”

Reimu exhaled a laugh. “R…Right.”

Silence passed. Even though Marisa lived in solitude for years, it felt like torture.

“Well…I did. I went to Eirin. The…next Hakurei Shrine Maiden is all taken care of, so don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t care!” Marisa clutches her arms. “I don’t care about replacements, I just…” ‘Want you’. But her heart (if she even had one by now) was caught in her throat. “…I did this because I don’t want it to go. I don’t want every day I spent to be…wasted.” The words felt like ash on her tongue. 

“Everything has to change, Marisa.” Reimu murmured, eyes lilted.

“How can you be so calm about this? Why? Why can’t you just get angry and kill me already?!” Marisa blurted, “Just like it used to be!”

“…Because even if you didn’t do this, balance still has to be maintained.” Words that weren’t hers.

“Marisa…” She opened her eyes, again. “Look, I know what you did. And you’re damn lucky that I’m too frail to kill you but… listen to me. You better listen to me at least on this one bloody thing, because I don’t think I can repeat it.“ 

Marisa could only nod, tears drizzling down her face.

“It’s not all for nothing. I’m sure that, if you were the one here, I’d be clasping your hand and telling you this but… I know. I know you’ve felt lonely, like you can’t connect or catch up to anybody. But it’s never been for nothing. Everyday that you spent stealing, or making potions, or just talking to me…someone treasures that. When you die, some…lost little kid in a black hat will wander into a forest crying…and she’ll see it there. She’ll see herself in you. Maybe, if I’m optimistic, she won’t turn herself into a damn youkai but… someone values it. All this effort we put in." 

And she takes Marisa’s hand, "I did.”

“Reimu…”

Marisa clasped it tight. 

But it already faded away like sand between her fingers.


End file.
